Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Između sna i sanjarenja, između mene i one koju u sebi pretpostavljam teče jedna reka beskrajna

Ako se setim one koja bejah, 
neku drugu sebe vidim.
A prošlost je sadašnjost u sećanju.
Ona koja bejah, to je neka koju volim
ali samo u snu.
A ako mi dah razdire neki žal
to ne žalim ja za sobom niti za prošlošću
viđenom, već za oniim koji obitava
iza mojih slepih očiju.
Sećanje moje ništa je,
a ova sadašnja i ona bivša ja
samo su dva različita sna.
A onaj koga osećam i koji mre
u svemu što me za mene vezuje
spava tamo gde reka protiče
....ta reka beskrajna....

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You are the pattern in the weaving of my existence. You are the secret code that unlocks all that is mine. You are the manner in which I dance, flying from cloud to cloud…You are the answer to all my questions, always unexpected, which raises me from one world to another.You are my sailing boat on the ocean of infinite tranquility and bliss. My most beautiful ark. Your soul has no limits, and it is in my eyes that You are endless…
And thus when I am not asking You anything then, in fact, I am asking You; And when I do not see You – I do indeed see you. And when You are silent You are speaking inside of me; and when you are asleep you are awake inside of me.....
You'll never be able to escape from your heart. So, it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow...

Anton Chekhov, Ivanov

Once I worked hard and thought a lot but I never got tired; now I do nothing and think of nothing, but I'm tired in body and spirit.With a heavy head, with a slothful spirit, exhausted, overstretched, broken, without faith, without love, without a goal, I roam like a shadow among men and I don't know who I am, why I'm alive, what I want. And I now think that love is nonsense, that embraces are cloying, that there's no sense in work, that song and passionate speeches are vulgar and outmoded. And everywhere I take with me depression, chill boredom, dissatisfaction, revulsion from life... I am destroyed, irretrievably!