Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Između života kakav želim da proživim i besomučne jurnjave

Svaki put kada osetim bol, ja se uspinjem uz planinu, da nađem sklonište u njenim visinama, jer je TA planina neranjiva; svaki put kada me povredi tvoja "okrutnost", jer je TA planina beskrajno čista; svaki put kada me muči vremenska prolaznost, jer u TIM visinama caruje večnost. U uzaludnoj želji da pobegnem od svega i svih uvek me sustigne tvoj "šapat", koji se šunja kroz pukotine moje duše i penje iz njenih dubina. Ti nisi na korak iza mene, Ti se nalaziš u najskrovitijem kutku mog srca.
 Ova visoka besporočna planina izgleda mi kao tužno priviđenje, kao beg, od života za koji sam odgovorna, od svih ne izgovorenih reči i postupaka koje nisam učinila iz samo meni znanih razloga....

1 comment:

Giga said...

This escape is only temporary help for myself, I think. Regards.

You are the pattern in the weaving of my existence. You are the secret code that unlocks all that is mine. You are the manner in which I dance, flying from cloud to cloud…You are the answer to all my questions, always unexpected, which raises me from one world to another.You are my sailing boat on the ocean of infinite tranquility and bliss. My most beautiful ark. Your soul has no limits, and it is in my eyes that You are endless…
And thus when I am not asking You anything then, in fact, I am asking You; And when I do not see You – I do indeed see you. And when You are silent You are speaking inside of me; and when you are asleep you are awake inside of me.....
You'll never be able to escape from your heart. So, it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow...

Anton Chekhov, Ivanov

Once I worked hard and thought a lot but I never got tired; now I do nothing and think of nothing, but I'm tired in body and spirit.With a heavy head, with a slothful spirit, exhausted, overstretched, broken, without faith, without love, without a goal, I roam like a shadow among men and I don't know who I am, why I'm alive, what I want. And I now think that love is nonsense, that embraces are cloying, that there's no sense in work, that song and passionate speeches are vulgar and outmoded. And everywhere I take with me depression, chill boredom, dissatisfaction, revulsion from life... I am destroyed, irretrievably!

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