alexandra

alexandra
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Friday, 10 April 2015

"Talking" with God

You can never be alone in this world, because this world is not alone. Some days pass such that in them, apparently, nothing happens.The routines of the soul and body, the daily and nightly "reflexive choruses" the humming or snoring of the internal "substations" of apathy. Some days, however, are such that they don't pass. 
My native country doesn't exist anymore. However, at the time I lived a life rich in many areas, but I didn't go to church. I didn't read any religious or spiritual books, nor did I pray to God. Being raised in a communist country where according to the dictated general views only old and backward people where still holding to religion. I never had any experience with neither religion or church. As a child I was not baptized. 
Churches and monasteries were to be visited only as historical sites, not places of worship. Who was going to pray in church when we studied Marxism in school and were taught that "religion was the opium of the masses"?!
That day in the morning I went to work taught my classes attended a contentious faculty meeting and come back home. As I was walking I thought about God's existence. I sat on the lowest stone step with the sandy beach. Then inexplicably for the first time in my life, I wanted to have some "direct contact" with God.
"God, please give me a sign". For some reason, I thought that a sign would come to me from the gulls above that a bird would fly over my head, or come close to me, but that didn't happen. I looked at the waves dancing before my eyes. I thought that maybe they would either rise or make some special sound but didn't happen either. Nothing extraordinary came from the gulls or from the water.
 When it didn't come, with seadness and disappointment I looked down, then next to my right foot, I saw a small stone. You know what was on the stone? Inscribed on its surface, there is a letter and it is A. 
I got up and started walkin toward home, knowing that I was holding a precious possession. And the elation I felt! It seemed as if I was walking on air, not touching the ground. I didn't immediately start analyzing the sign. I just know that I was given one. The letter - it is an initual of my name. Was the message that God is in us, that I need not look outside, but in my soul?
I thinking about how I could best share my "experiences" through writing, and then I realized that all of this evolved over a long period of time and that I need to let it flow at its own peace....



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